“I used to be the girl who never had a plan.” Little Dragon
Have you ever seen or read something that hit you in the face so hard you couldn’t ignore it? Suddenly all your dormant dreams rise to the surface together with your personal fears and create a swirling vortex around you. When I stumbled across Catalyze retreat it was as though someone was reaching a hand down into that vortex and offering to pull me up. I had a vision of the possible future I had barely dared to believe positioned tantalisingly over the rim of the swirling mayhem.
Since posting my campaign to social media I have had a number of people approach me to ask “What’s this about Belize?” They would like to know what I expect to get out of it, and the underlying (politely unspoken) question is “Why should we help you with this?”
First let me clarify that I do not expect a free ride on a self-indulgent trip. I am dedicated to making this trip happen with or without the help and support of others. This has always been my approach in life. There is no ‘should’ when it comes to helping me, if you wish to support me, you will, if you do not you wont. There is a deeper issue at stake here. One of the important things I intend to get out of this trip is to
FACE MY FEARS
Fear #1 : Asking for help
I have received a lot of help over the years from many different quarters, most often my friends and family. I have appreciated it and shown this appreciation every single time. It was not easy for me to accept the help offered but I had to acknowledge that it was necessary for me to move forward, and that I am not a one-woman-band.
“Limit your wants, meet your needs” – Gandhi
A lovely client quoted this to me when I was speaking to her about the trip and my plans to raise funds. I love it because it perfectly embodies my plan of action to ensure that the goal is met. I work very hard at everything I do, believing that I should give 100% to my clients at all times. This is the same whether I am providing a deep tissue massage, a healing session, or teaching a yoga class. I believe I am there to help and to heal. Try me! Donate and leave me a request on Facebook and I will perform a distance healing for you personally.
Over the years I have sought comfort in food, social activities and shopping to name a few. These things became a pacifier for unmet needs rather than something healthy and enjoyable. However I have come to a place now where I realise that there is very little that I require materially to be content. The additional motivation of the Self-development opportunity I need offered by Catalyze really crystallises this for me and keeps me from being distracted.
Fear #2 : Other people’s opinions
“If we all did the things we are really capable of dong, we would literally astound ourselves” – Thomas Edison
I’m not a self-indulgent person. I work hard as I have said. However in launching this campaign I have had to acknowledge anew how much I still care what other people – even strangers think of me. This has been one of the most limiting factors in my personal development. This fear could be broken down into many different expressions: Fear of being considered selfish, of rejection, of not being good enough, of disappointing others, of being mocked. It all boils down to the same thing. I have valued other people’s opinion of me more highly than my own. There are times when I have genuinely disappointed myself in life, but there are many other times when I have allowed outside influence to sway me away from what I know to be the best path for me when I should have trusted my own compass. This will not be one of those times. I have no criticism either way on what people think or speak of me but I had to put this out there to prove to myself that it doesn’t matter to me whether anyone else approves of what I consider to be honourable intentions.
Fear #3 : Failure
This fear is common to most of us, so I know I am not alone in this. The suspicion that I cannot do any better than this, and that I will always be working fingers to the bone just to pay the bills while trying to rustle up some extra energy to be a loving parent, friend and girlfriend is bleak to say the least. I’ve worked around this fear for years. I’m no stranger to failure really, but I dust myself off and try again.
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison
I am very fortunate that I have now found what I can confidently state is my purpose in life. After trying many things for work and leisure I have found something that I do not want to give up EVER. I never want to stop giving healing energy to people, I never want to stop helping people to feel better and improve their lives. What comes first though is to create of myself a clear and sustainable channel of that energy. Catalyze is going to help me do this. Failure can become my friend as it teaches me the direction not to go in. I am extremely grateful for that.
Fear #4 : Being a burden
As babies we start as a burden and a blessing. My beautiful parents would never regret a single ounce of energy, love and yes, money they have expended on my behalf. As I have grown I have felt a strong desire to become less of a burden and more of a blessing in my personal relationships and on society. I wish to be the superhero, I want to provide for those who have provided for me in my infancy and into adulthood.
When I was 10 years old, my parents unselfishly gave up their opportunity of any kind of career to serve the needs of others in the Middle East. They returned to the UK when my Dad reached retirement age and my Mum redesigned and re-qualified herself as a foot-care specialist to support them. Even in her work she is giving again and again. There is only so much longer this will be possible. It’s hard work and she does this despite having suffered with rheumatoid arthritis for many years.
I feel it really is my turn. Facing this fear and turning it around is not an option, it is a necessity, and this very special team of people on the Catalyze Retreat are offering the resources I need to make these kind of level-jump in my business.
Fears aside, opening this door already seems to have caused a shift in my life patterns. This past week I have been contacted by two people offering work opportunities which I am excited to be a part of. If even the act of setting this intention to attend the Catalyze trip has brought positive opportunities to my doorstep, who am I to back out now. Like Edison, I shall always try, just one more time.
To donate visit http://igg.me/at/wduQ7tCuATE
To learn more about Catalyze visit www.thecatalyzeretreat.com
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